You Go Girls!

G just sent me this link to a website for a group of three women who are tramping their way along the entire South Island of New Zealand - the hard way! They're travelling along the Southern Alps mountain range, with some of the most rugged terrain in the country.

Their trip is a fundraiser for Youthline, and I have to doff my wide-brimmed, waterproof hat to them for taking on such a huge journey. 1600 km of crazy New Zealand wilderness. Good luck girls, and may the forces of nature be with you!

http://www.manawahinewalk.com/index.pl?home

Feeling Indecisive? Destination-pickers galore!

In the process of editing my book, more than a few of my brilliant (or so they seemed at the time) ideas have ended up on the proverbial "cutting room floor." While I'm sure that's all for the best, I thought I could salvage a few from the scrap heap and post them here so they don't go to waste!

So here is a recent victim of the edit. My list of the Top 10 Random Ways to Pick Your Next Camping Destination. It's written with US readers in mind, but if you just replace "State" with Province or Region and USA with your own country and they'll work anywhere.

TOP 10 RANDOM WAYS TO PICK YOUR NEXT CAMPING DESTINATION
Can’t decide where to go on your next romantic getaway? Willing to leave it up to chance? Here are some fun ways to let fate decide where you’ll be pitching your tent!

1. Pin the tail on the trail - Stick a detailed trail or topographic map on the wall and put some blue tack on a paper dot. Now one of you puts on a blindfold and sticks the dot on the map. Wherever the dot has landed, go to the closest trail or river.
   
2. Dartboard – Put a map of the USA up in front of a dart board (or cork board) and throw a dart. Your next big trip will be in the state where the dart landed. The worse you are at darts, the more random your choice will be!
   
3. Dropsies – Put a state map on the floor. Hold a penny and stretch your arm out over the map. Drop the penny and visit the park closest to where it lands.
   
4. Alphabetize – Go to the index of a guide book for your area. Pick a trail, park or river starting with “A” for your first trip, and work your way through the alphabet.
   
5. Google it – Do an internet search by typing in the name of your state or region plus “camping”, “backpacking”, or “paddling” and check out the results. The first specific destination that comes up is where you’ll go.
   
6. Spin the bottle – Put a state map on the table and lie a small bottle in the center. Give it a spin and see where the mouth of the bottle is pointing when it stops. Go there!
   
7. Book-a-trip – Buy a good guide book for your state or favorite area. Close your eyes and open it to a random page. Whatever route is described, that’s where you’ll go. (If you’ve already done that page then close your eyes and pick again.)
   
8. Follow the clubbers – Find the website of a local hiking or paddling club. Check out their schedule and see where they were last weekend. Go there this weekend.
   
9. Bingo – Grab a map with alphanumeric grid markings. Without looking at the map, one of you picks a letter and the other picks a number. Find that square on the map and go to the nearest trail to there.
   
10. Chore jar – If you’ve got a list of places you’d like to go but can’t choose one, write each place name on a slip of paper and put all of the slips into a jar. Now close your eyes and reach into the jar. The first one you pull out is where you’re going next. This one is great because you can keep the jar going for years by adding more places.
    

A Woman Who Knows Her Shit

Yesterday I interviewed another writer for my book, How to Make Love in a Tent. The interview was with Kathleen Meyer. You may not know Kathleen's name, but you've probably heard of her book - How to Shit in The Woods. What probably started out as a little, niche title has been so successful that she has released a second edition. Over a million copies are in print in a host of languages.

Who knew that such an odd topic could be so popular? But then again, anyone who has tried to participate in the titular activity can tell you that it certainly helps to have some instruction on the topic before your first attempt!

My interview wasn't really about that though. After all, one book on the subject is quite enough! (Although I do have a section just for women in my book that covers stuff like peeing in the bush and how to deal with your period.) I was more interested in Kathleen's experiences as a river rafting guide in her 30's and her more recent outdoors life with her partner, Patrick.

Kathleen has been lucky enough to finally hook up with a guy who shares her special relationship with nature. The two of them apparently sleep outside on the deck of their barn home most nights. The bed is used only in rainy or very cold weather. How many couples can claim they spend most of their nights under the stars? Even when it snows, they don't retreat indoors. She told me, "I find there’s nothing sweeter than waking up with your barrette iced into your hair, in a blanket of snow. And the intensity of that hot body next to you
is just increased, to wrap yourself around."

I'm sure some of you can think of many things you'd find sweeter than frozen hair in the morning, but I do admire the fact that she can find pleasure in it. I guess it helps when you're somewhere you can brush off the snow and take a hot shower afterwards!

It has certainly been interesting hearing from such a range of people about their outdoor experiences, and their relationships with the wilderness. The way we feel in the wild is as individual as we are, but most of us are just awed by the power, beauty and magnitude of the natural world. It's unfortunate that this amazing world is somewhere most of us only get to visit now and then. It would be even more unfortunate if we got to the point where there was little of it left to visit.

Anyway, I will be diligently weaving some of Kathleen's wisdom into my book. Pretty soon the editing will be done and a year's worth of words will leave my control. It's a bit scary, but I'm looking forward to it too!

A Jumbo Blow To End the Year

On the last weekend in December, G and I decided to finally get out of the house after a week of disappointing holiday weather and go for a trip to Jumbo Hut in the Tararua Mountains.

Saturday was quite nice, cool but mostly sunny with just the odd bit of drizzle. The first few hours of walking were along a flat river valley, on a benched trail with bridges over the streams and rivers. All in all, a pleasant stroll.

The second half of the journey was much more strenuous. Uphill for two and a half hours! (Well, it's only supposed to take two hours, but after a month of not backpacking I'm a little out of shape...) We reached the hut near the mountain ridge just as the rain moved in.


Almost as soon as we were inside, the hut was enveloped by cloud. The rain began pelting down in earnest, and the wind howled across the ridge. Inside, the hut was deserted. Here we were on a weekend, right in the middle of Christmas break, and nobody else was there! (I guess they'd paid more attention to the weather forecast than we did.)

As much as I would have liked to take advantage of our isolation, it was so cold in the hut that night that being naked was just not an option. Instead we were both wearing every layer of clothing we brought, and crawled inside our sleeping bags as soon as dinner was finished. Well, almost. I did spend a bit of time trying to dry out my sweaty bra by holding it over a candle. While this method worked pretty well, and it was hilarious watching the steam rise from my bra, I got a little too close to the flame at one point and scorched my right cup!

The wind roared around us all night, and I was reminded why New Zealanders so often prefer huts to tents in this changeable climate. It was so blustery that I was startled awake a few times, convinced at one point that the wind had sounded exactly like a woman shrieking outside.
By morning things had improved a little. It was still cold and pretty windy, but the rain had all but stopped. Our hike down was cool and cloudy, and by the time we got to the bottom of the hill (after an hour and a half this time!) my legs were feeling pretty wobbly. We plodded on across the flatter part of the trail with as few stops as possible, choosing to wait until we were back on the road to grab lunch.

Both of us suffered from very stiff legs the next day. In fact, it took my quads three days to recover to the point where I was walking normally up and down stairs. It doesn't take long to lose your conditioning! Hopefully the weather will improve now, and we'll be able to get out there more often and keep in shape.

Happy new year everyone!

I'm a size 2... or 14

I came across this article that was linked to the Earth Sea Sky website (they're a New Zealand company who make good outdoor clothing.) It's all about how clothing sizes keep getting bigger so that overweight women can buy a smaller size and not feel fat.

After my shopping experience with the hiking shirts, I thought this was good backup for my claim that the sizes are almost irrelevant. The smallest sized article of clothing in my closet is a pair of size 2 pants from Old Navy, and the biggest is a size 14 top from Billabong. Both fit correctly. So what size am I?

Here's the article link - http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2005-04-19/whitford-vanitysizing

On a somewhat related note, after my rant on shopping for a top, I went into a sporting goods store a couple of days later which was having a lease expiry sale. There I found a Nike top in a light polyester weave, with long sleeves and SPF 30 protection. And it's pink. So now I have two sun protection shirts to choose from. Ah, the irony. (And in case you're wondering, it's a 'medium')

Shopping for “Protection”

Sun protection, that is. One thing I’ve noticed since moving to New Zealand is just how dangerous that gaping hole in the ozone layer can be! Where previously a good coating of SPF 15 sunscreen would keep me burn-free for the day, that just doesn’t cut it down here.

On my last day hike (where I finally got to use my Diva daypack – and was totally happy with it!) the sun was shining. I slathered on the SPF 30 Coppertone, donned my hat and shades, and basked in the first glorious summery day. (Which has also been the ONLY glorious, summery day so far!) By the end of a short hike and a stroll along the beach, I could see that I was beginning to get a bit pink. If I’d been out in the sun all day, I would certainly have burned.

I decided it was wise to get myself a long-sleeved summer top to help keep my skin unexposed on long, sunny hikes. So the next week, I hit all of my favourite camping stores in search of the perfect hiking shirt.

I must have tried on about 20 shirts that day. As usual when I go shopping for clothes, almost nothing fit me properly. Some of the shirts fit just like men’s shirts – the shoulders were too broad and the torso was baggy. Some seemed to be designed for women with no breasts whatsoever, which is definitely not me!

I was tempted to get a top by the Aussie company “Mountain Designs” simply because it came in a pleasant, mauve colour – while everything else in the ‘dress shirt’ style was predictably beige, blue or khaki (at least from the selection they had in stock). What’s up with that? Sadly the fit on that shirt wasn’t quite right, although it made claims to be infused with some kind of mosquito repellent which I found intriguing.

I found that sizing was almost impossible to predict. ‘My size’ turned out to be anything from 6 to 12 depending on the manufacturer. Some of this is due to Australia and New Zealand using different size guidelines to the US, but I think some is just randomly decided by the manufacturer – and it’s a big pain in the ass when you’re trying on 3 or 4 sizes to figure out which one fits best.

In the end there were only two shirts in contention. One was by Columbia and the other by Mountain Hardwear. Both claimed to offer protection equivalent to SPF 30. Both fit me like a proper shirt, wide enough to not pull open at the chest, then tapered in a bit around the waist. Both were only available in my size in an uninspired shade of beige, although the Mountain Hardwear one has a bit of a green tinge to it.

In the end I bought the Mountain Hardwear shirt. The deciding factor was a 20% off sale price. I have yet to test it out on a hike (we’ve been busy with more domestic pursuits this past weekend) so I’ll have to report back on whether its sun protection claims hold up in practice.

Interview with a ‘sexpert’

Last week I interviewed a couples therapist named Esther Perel for my book. She has her own book out, called “Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic”. It’s a really interesting, and somewhat controversial book.

She goes against some of the popular advice therapists usually give to couples having problems in the bedroom. Instead of encouraging them to communicate more and share all of their feelings, she tells them to spend more time apart! She thinks that in modern, Western society, romantic partners put too much pressure on each other to be their family, their best friend and their lover rolled into one. In order for the sex to stay hot, she claims, you need a bit of mystery in your relationship.

It was a bit hard for me to relate to a lot of what was in her book, because my relationship is only a year old and we don’t have kids getting in the way of things. But I think any couple who are starting to find that they’re better friends than they are lovers these days would find her book interesting. So far it’s only available in North America and Germany, but there’s a British release coming out that will also go to Australia and New Zealand.

Here are some controversial bits of her book that I found really interesting:

- If you have cheated on your partner and he/she doesn’t know, it may not be ‘the right thing to do’ to tell the truth. Sometimes the relationship will recover better if you just deal with the guilt yourself and don’t burden your partner with your confession.

- Couples who trust each other completely can lose the spark in their relationship. If you think there’s always a chance that your partner could be tempted away from you, you’ll be more attracted to him/her.

- You shouldn’t feel guilty if you think about someone other than your partner while you’re having sex. Pretending your partner is someone else can make sex more erotic.

- A lot of women have what they consider to be ‘rape’ fantasies and feel really conflicted about them. But on closer examination, these women are never physically hurt in the fantasies. They’re really more about submission than actual rape, and they don’t mean that the woman actually wants to be raped on some level.

What does any of this have to do with camping? Well, I asked her about the effects of getting out of the bedroom to help spice up your love life. It turns out she’s a big fan of the outdoors herself. She thinks having the sun on your face and the wind in your hair is an erotic experience in itself. I couldn’t agree more!

She also talked about how sexy it can be to see your partner in control of his or her environment. Catching a fish, lighting a campfire, or climbing a rockface – if your lover is impressing you it’s a big turn-on. This is especially true if he/she’s doing something you know you can’t do yourself.

She stressed the way nature’s unpredictability can take us beyond our comfort zone. That can also get us to think outside the box when it comes to sex. She says it’s all about using your imagination.

Anyway, you’ll get the whole story when the book comes out. But in the mean time, I wanted to share a bit of what I learned from this interesting woman. If you want to find out more about her (or her book) she has a website: http://www.eshterperel.com/

The International Brotherhood (and Sisterhood) of Campers

Last weekend we went on a camping trip with a very international group of acquaintances. In total there were one Canadian (me), one Australian, one New Zealander, two Germans, two South Africans, and two French.

It struck me that camping and hiking are the sort of activities that cross international and cultural borders. They are something you can bring with you no matter where life takes you. You can immediately find people who share some of your joys and values all over the world.

In fact, one of the first things I did after moving to New Zealand was join a ‘Tramping Club’. (In New Zealand backpacking is called tramping.) I figured it was the best way for me to meet people in my new home who shared a common interest with me. Since I wasn’t working yet, there were very few ways for me to meet people, and this was a great solution. I wasn’t the only one who thought so. There are people from all over the world in the club. So many people are drawn to New Zealand because of its reputation for outdoor adventure, that it’s no surprise to find new Kiwis congregating in a club that organises those adventures.

I doubt very much that G and I would have found each other if it weren’t for our common interest in camping. It was what brought us together in the first place. I was looking for someone to camp with, and if it turned into a romance so much the better! He was looking for someone who shared his passion for the outdoors. The fact that we were from very different places and very different experiences growing up didn’t really matter too much. All three couples who were on our camping trip last weekend are mixed nationalities. G and I are South African/Canadian, B and C are French and South African, M and N are Kiwi and Australian.

One of my favourite things about camping is the fact that it crosses so many divisions. Whether they are nationalities, generations or races. We’re all the same when we hit the wilderness – all humble visitors.

International symposium on river crossing:

My "Inept" Article

Hi all. The November/December issue of "InTravel" online magazine is now available for your reading pleasure. It features an article by ME, called "Attack of the Killer Seals". You can enjoy it at your leisure through this link.

It's a story from my first visit to New Zealand's South Island. Have I learned anything since then? Not really!

Reader Participation Time

I’m beginning to work on some revisions for "How to Make Love in a Tent", and I could use your collective help. Here are some questions to ponder – please post comments if you have responses.

If you saw the book "How to Make Love in a Tent: Romantic Camping Adventures for Wild Couples" in a shop, what sort of stuff would you be expecting (or hoping) to find inside? What kinds of topics would you want it to cover?

When you think about sex and romance in the outdoors, what concerns do you have? What are the things that would stop you from getting frisky with your partner when camping?

What would you consider the main differences between making love at home (in bed) and doing it in a different setting, such as a tent, a car, a beach or whatever?

What do you think is the most important thing to keep your love life interesting and stimulating?

Have you ever used a book or advice column to look for ideas to improve your love life? In what ways did you find them helpful? How were they not helpful?

Have a think about it, and let me know if you have any thoughts on those or other related topics. Even if you’re not a camper yourself, I’d like to hear your opinions. If you’re shy, you can be anonymous about it, or send me your response by e-mail to loveinatent AT hotmail DOT com instead of posting a comment.

Thanks for participating. Interactivity rocks!

PS - Good luck to all of the participants in this year's Novel Writing Month. Keep up that word count!